I had been hearing lots about Everything Sad is Untrue. It was very popular for a while, but I kept hearing conflicting reactions about it. So I figured I would read it for myself. I’m really glad I did! I found parts of it absolutely hilarious, others profound, and still others heartbreaking. It’s most definitely a worthwhile read.
Nayeri’s mother
The first thing I want to say is that the author, Daniel Nayeri, had an incredible mother. That woman was a Believer with unbelievable, indefatigable faith. It was unclear in the book whether he shared that faith as an adult, however, his portrayal of his mother’s faith was beautiful and incredibly respectful.
General review
What struck me initially is that the book didn’t contain any chapters. There are breaks throughout, but the narrative is essentially train of thought. The book opens to Nayeri’s class when he was in about the 5th grade.
Apparently the children believe …”all Persians are liars. And lying is a sin.” They believe that because Nayeri shares with his class a lot about where he came from, which was Iran. To these children, the stories sounded so far fetched, they must all be lies. He told stories of his family’s mythic distant past, as well as more recent past. All of the stories sounded so un-relatable, especially to a classroom of American kids, it was not surprising they assumed he was lying.
Nayeri’s sister, mother, and himself all were refugees from Iran. They meandered their way to the United States, after many harrowing events. But he was born into a family of wealth and beauty. His father was a dentist and his mother was a doctor. He had a very loving grandfather that he missed tremendously when he was in America. Especially more towards the beginning of the book, Nayeri retold many stories of his family that he had heard as a very young child, some of who interestingly lived in different parts of the world, not just Iran.
Christian Refugee
What precipitated the family (minus the father) fleeing Iran was the fact that Nayeri’s mother became a Believer in Christ. Her boldness got her noticed by the Committee in Iran. She was taken by them, interrogated, and threatened with the death of her entire family if she didn’t disclose those who were a part of the underground church she attended (page 215).
They let her go to think it over. Miraculously, shortly after, Nayeri’s family was able to bypass the police and get on a plane to Dubai. They literally wandered the streets until they eventually found someone to stay with. Nayeri’s father later came to Dubai and announced he was divorcing his wife and had already married someone else. Then he promptly left again (page 261).
After spending a year in Dubai, they were able to leave and go to Italy. Here again, they waited until they could find their way to a country where they wouldn’t be persecuted for their beliefs. That country ended up being The United States. Specifically, they went to Oklahoma.
Amazing testimony
I’m focusing the majority of this book review on the second half of this book, because I found it to be so incredible. The first half of the book was a bit slow and heavy on details of his grandparents and their history. Nayeri also goes back and forth between his 12 year old self, to his grandparents in Iran, then to his 7 year old self in Dubai and Italy. Somehow, he was able to tie everything together well, without being confusing. But the second half of the book was extremely compelling.
His experience as a refugee was incredibly well articulated. The stories were difficult to read about, while at the same time recognizing the process is unfortunately the way it is for a number of reasons. Our world is so broken, and that includes the immigration process for refugees (no matter which country the refugees end up). But there was no sugar coating the excruciating waiting, the skeptical UN workers, and the American children who had no way of understanding or relating.
I loved how Nayeri truly revered his mother for her courage and fortitude. Her faith in Christ kept her going. And of course, her unrelenting hope. Nayeri also loved his father, but he was clear eyed as to how his father had abandoned him and his sister (and of course, his mother). His father seemed to be bigger than life, but at the end of the day, he couldn’t bring himself to live for something (or someone) that was bigger than himself.
But everything sad was TRUE, no?
Everything Sad is Untrue was very thought provoking. But after finishing, I thought to myself – Wait. That actually was incredibly sad! The only other Christian in the book besides his mother was his stepfather, who was cruel and wicked. He beat his mother and held the entire family hostage, essentially. They left Iran only to go and find themselves in another awful position. It just looked a little different. Why the title?
But a friend pointed out that despite circumstances, they had hope. Nayeri didn’t articulate where this hope came from, but I know where his mother’s hope came from. Christ was the only thing that kept her standing and continuing to persevere through all of the hardship.
Although this isn’t an explicitly Christian autobiography, I thought it was a beautiful portrayal of Nayeri’s life. Life in all of its difficulties and messiness and beauty. There wasn’t a bow to be tied at the end of the book. That’s because the hope we have as Believers lies in the hands of God. We may not see the tying of the bow even at the end of our lives, but we know that we can trust Him.
I love how Nayeri puts it at the end of the book: “Hope. The anticipation that the God who listens in love will one day speak justice.” It may not be today or tomorrow, but we can trust the LORD (not the Universe or anything or anyone else). He is the one Who will make everything sad untrue.
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