I was listening to another one of my many podcasts this morning, What Have You. I sometimes find the podcast to be a little cheesy but today, I thought it was quite the paradigm shift for me.
The podcast is produced by two of the daughters of Doug Wilson. They are probably around the same age as I am (mid-upper forties). They homeschool their children and have a lot of them. So I have at least a little in common with them (I don’t currently homeschool, but we have a lot of kids too!).
Anyone else?
Today they were talking about how their kids just love to destroy any semblance of order in their home. Can I get a witness?? Geeze louise, I can definitely feel their pain. Of course, this is incredibly frustrating and annoying. It seems as if as soon as things get picked up, kids come in and throw blocks all over the floor or leave unfolded blankets in a heap somewhere. Ugh!
Of course, deep breaths help. It’s not that big of a deal. We can get it picked up one way or another. But I loved how they pointed out that we need to not just essentially tolerate the mess. We need to go beyond that, and actually embrace it. And embrace it, while thinking of what the LORD is doing in these moments.
Friends
When our kids are making a mess, playing games, or just hanging out, they’re developing friendships with their siblings. What a beautiful thought! Of course, there’s a balance. Walking into a room that looks like a bomb went off is so unsettling. I hate it! But our goal should be to have the end in mind. We want our kids to love the LORD first and foremost. And right up there on our list of priorities should be that we also want our kids to be friends with each other. Considering they can’t get rid of each other, that’s a very good goal to keep in mind!
Grinning and bearing it is not the point. I know I’ve been guilty of doing exactly that. Or losing it because the main living area is a mess, AGAIN. But praying about our attitude and thanking God for the mess because of what that implies (i.e. friendships forming) is key.
I love this Proverb: A barn with no cattle might be clean, but strong bulls are needed for a good harvest (Proverbs 14:4). So our barn may not be exactly perfectly clean, but that’s OK. We are making strong bulls for the future. (:= LORD knows our world needs a few strong bulls. All the better if they’re working together and are from the same family.
Choosing what’s best
Again, it’s not as if we should completely disregard our homes. But just as Jesus gently rebuked Martha, we need to choose what’s not just good but best (Luke 10:38 – 42). So let the kids play even though you just cleaned up 5 minutes ago. I pray we all invest time with our children collectively, fostering sweet memories. Whether our children play with one another, or get together as we do a bible study or read a few books, we want these blessings to think back on their childhood with fondness and joy. Either extreme is not ideal (perfection of having everything always in its place or chaos of having nothing in its place) which will both negatively affect relationships), and finding that sweet spot in the middle will look a little different for every family. But the point is to have our focus be on what’s best, not just on what’s good.
So sit and read to your children engaging books (click HERE for a few of our favorites!), even if they’re older! Do family bible studies (HERE is a kid’s bible study that looks awesome! I listen to The Bible Recap daily!). Have plenty of games on hand for your kids to play together (Uno, Memory, and for the olders, Werewolf are a few of our favorites!). These moments fly by and we won’t get them back!
Our oldest 3 will be out of the house (sort of) this fall. One is out of college and married, the other 2 are in college. I promise I blinked and here we are. We need to savor every moment and thank the LORD for the messes, the chaos, and the sacrifices. It’s all a blessing. And the paradigm shift is well worth the effort.
