Back what feels like a lifetime ago, I would have definitely categorized myself as a feminist. Of COURSE women can do the exact same things as men. Of COURSE men and women are essentially interchangeable! I mean, so obvi!
And if you tried to argue with me otherwise, I would have assumed you were just not very educated. And probably sexist.
It’s been a long road
It’s been a long, long road. I can’t say I’ve arrived yet, but I can tell you that the younger version of me from almost 30 years ago is not the same as the one that is currently writing this post. I’m so thankful to say I’ve grown a lot as a woman, but most importantly I’ve grown as a Believer in Christ.
Kicking But(ker)
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not Catholic. But I wanted to give an infinite number of hearts and thumbs up to Harrison Butker‘s commencement speech that he recently gave. I wish there were more Butker’s in this world. That’s not to say that everything he said was spot on (not sure what he meant when he said salvation would be attained through his marriage), but on the whole, a brave and Truth filled speech.
It truly amazes me how the culture continues to peddle the lie that being a mom is considered “less than.” The Left preaches how a woman doesn’t need a family to be fulfilled. The Right preaches how a woman can have BOTH a career and family. Butker spoke to the ideal of being a homemaker. I’d have to say that although I agree with about 99% of what Butker said to that graduating class, there are truths to be found in each of the above sentiments.
All the single ladies
Technically, no. Women do not need a family to be fulfilled. They need Jesus, full stop. We all do. However, as women we should embrace the design of God when possible, which is to be married and have children. Obviously, not all women will marry, and that’s OK. Off the top of my head, I can think of Amy Carmichael who was an incredible woman of God. She was a “mother” to countless little girls in India. Or Corrie Ten Boom, who saved dozens of Jews during the Holocaust. Also, Helen Roseveare, who was an amazing doctor who used her skills to bless people in Africa. All unmarried, but used mightily by the LORD. Praise God for them!
Mama working 9-5
As for having both a career and a family, I think that depends. Sometimes there are situations where a mom must work outside the home full time for any number of reasons. But in general, I’d have to say we can’t have our “cake and eat it too.” At least, not all at the same time.
One frustrating message that is continually drummed by the Pro-Life community is that achieving your career goals and having a family go hand in hand. Again, in general, that is not realistic. Working and achieving your career goals play second fiddle when a child comes into the picture. At least, it should.
Even if you consider raising your children could take up 20 – 25 years of your life (which is a huge overestimate for most families), there is still plenty of time to work. Obviously, it won’t look exactly the same as if we were to have started working outside the home 20 years earlier. But honestly, who cares? Being a mom is head and shoulders more important and more satisfying than any 9 to 5.
Trad wife
As I mentioned above, Butker refers to his wife, and relays how she has embraced being a homemaker. He wouldn’t be the man he is today if not for her. Yes and Amen! However, there is something to be said of having some kind of a side gig to go to more fully when your children are grown and /or out of the house.
I agree 100% with Butker that being a homemaker is the most important and rewarding job we have as women. Those of us who are wives and mamas are so blessed! But if we are to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman, it’s important that we not only focus on being an excellent wife, but a diligent worker. That will look different in each family, but to overlook this need for women entirely can be a very negative thing for, as an example, an empty nest mama.
Among other things, the LORD designed us to work. So although our home takes precedence, it doesn’t have to be always exclusive.
Praise God for Butker!
I’m so thankful for Butker standing on Biblical truth. That being said, I don’t believe what Butker said excludes any of the points I’ve made above. Often, we can project what we think we want to hear or exclude what we don’t want to hear, based on our own biases. But again, I’m thankful for this important conversation. I only wish someone had taken the time to explain this all to me when I was younger! Not that I would have been ready to hear it, but at least introducing the idea would have been helpful.
And that is what we’re all charged with. We won’t always win the argument or discussion. But that’s not our responsibility. Our responsibility is to be obedient to share the Truth of God with others. Changing hearts and minds is up to the LORD.
Pray for Butker to continue to walk in Truth and lead by example, no matter the backlash. And I pray when the time comes for us to stand up for the Truth, our spines will be strengthened and our mouths graciously speak as the LORD calls us to.
