The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Yesterday was rough. Have you ever had a day that just would not give you a break? That was yesterday for me. It’s not as if most of my days aren’t filled with one thing or another, but it seemed like yesterday was exceptionally trial filled. I had about an hour during the day when things were calm but other than that, I’d chalk up the day to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

The thing was, I was praying throughout it. “LORD, please help the twins to stop being so grumpy,” was a frequent prayer request. But they continued being irritable and crying, seemingly ALWAYS needing to be held. If it wasn’t one, it was the other. I should honestly have the strongest left arm in the universe. As soon as I put one down the other would just know and scream until I picked them up. LORD have mercy.

Of course, I am reminded that things can be much worse. I’ve read recently of so many tragedies. So many painful things happening in families. I count my blessings. But in the midst of the chaos and the crying and the general craziness, I could feel myself getting an edge. Deep breaths and lots of breaks for praying were not optional. They were a necessity. And even then, it was a struggle to keep my head on straight.

As I write this, that day is done and I can now gain some perspective. Raising children can be so hard. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do to stop the crabbiness. They’re cranky because they have a cold. Or didn’t sleep well. Or they have gas. Who knows. Being on the receiving end of these fretful cherubs can be exhausting. But then I remember, this life wasn’t meant to be easy. This life is about glorifying God, no matter the circumstances or state of your temporarily insane offspring. These sanctifiers that I’m blessed with are rubbing off my impatient edges. My entitled edges. My selfish edges. UGH. I think they used a chisel yesterday.

I get so frustrated with them because I have things I want (and many times need) to accomplish. I have meals to make. I have emails to write. Calendars to update. Laundry to fold. And my list goes on and on. The thing is, is that no one will remember how well the laundry was folded. Or how good my meals were or how prompt my emails were responded to. Instead, these children will remember how snarky their mom was, or how easily frustrated she got, or how moody she was. LORD, I so don’t want that for my kids. And what stinks is that I have really good excuses for being snarky and frustrated and moody. But you know what? None of that will matter. How I respond will be how they learn to respond. What I say will be what they think will be OK and “normal.” But will they see more often than not a mom that is willing to die to “self” and live for others? Will they see a mom who loves them more than she loves herself? Will they see glimpses of Jesus?

Now I’m not advocating being a doormat and allowing children to run the house according to their latest whim. That’s not the point. But as I constantly remind my children, “You will rarely be able to control the situation around you, but the one thing you can consistently be in control of is yourself and your attitude”. And those times when you just can’t, pray. Pray hard. It’s never easy and it’s rarely, if ever, fair. However, I’ve learned that if God is leading me to do one thing or the other, then that’s what I need to do. I wish I could say I always choose to do the right thing (in the moment, it can be so stinkin’ hard!!), but I can definitely say that when I do, I end up so thankful I did.

Days like yesterday I’d like to just put behind me and hope today will be different. But I know better. Not that today won’t be wonderful all on its own, but if I don’t learn from yesterday what I need to learn, then my tomorrow may look a lot like my yesterday. I don’t want to keep relearning the same lesson (God help me). So I’m asking God to give me the grace I need with snotty, grumpy kids. The same grace He extends to me daily. I’m asking God to help me not be frustrated, but trust that His plan is better even if it’s not my plan or my timing. And I’m asking God to give me quicker meals that can be made with one hand only.

Anyone else ever have a day like mine? Being a mama is a blessing even on those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I just want to minimize those kinds of days, if possible!! Can I hear an Amen? I hope and pray that we can all walk boldly in the truth that yes being a mama can be really hard, but it is also an honor and a privilege, even in the midst of the highs and lows and everything in between. I wouldn’t want to be sanctified any other way.