I can’t tell you how often I’ve told my kids this little nugget of truth – Don’t do what may feel good or what’s easy, but do what’s right. And every time I say it, I feel the LORD gently reminding me to do the same.
Context
There are so many ways this comes up. But recently I was reminded about a taboo subject where this definitely applies – pornography. We’ve had the awkward talk with our older kids. But not so much with the middles and definitely not the youngers. There are great books we’ve read to almost all of our children, including God’s Design for Sex, that talk about the general topic of sex from a biblical worldview. But not as much pornography.
Of course, life gets crazy and things get pushed aside as we try to navigate the activities and life events that inevitably come up. However, this topic is extremely important. We can’t just keep avoiding talking about this. Especially since pornography (of one kind or another) is pretty much unavoidable in the lives of our kids. And that is especially true by high school. It’s easy to push this talk aside, but it certainly isn’t right.
Why we must talk about it
Pornography seems to be at the center of so many of our societal ills. Whether that’s gender ideology or baby murder (aka abortion) – an argument can be made that all of these perversions can be connected back to pornography.
Yes, clearly this topic is difficult to discuss. But thankfully, we do have resources to tap into in order to lessen the potential awkwardness of a conversation with our kids.
Great resources
I was reminded of the perfect book that we have on the MHM booklist which addresses pornography to a child. It was after listening to a recent podcast of Culture Proof that it came to me. Will Addison was talking about the recent election. Praise the LORD, we have been gifted a great mercy with Trump’s win. However, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. According to The Christian Post: In nine states, referendums asked voters whether they supported amending their state constitutions to establish a right to abortion. Only three of the states stood to protect life. And they did it narrowly.
Will’s point was that although we can celebrate Trump’s win, we are still not OK. When a culture ignores the murder of the most innocent to the cries of autonomy and declaring baby murder a fundamental right, there is something deeply wrong. And a huge reason for that callousness to life in the womb can be correlated to pornography.
Scary statistics
The stats are shocking. I was just scanning this article by Barna research and it is very sobering. The moral ambivalence to watching porn continues to increase, which means more and more people think it’s no big deal. As our culture shrugs its shoulders to casually watching porn, it’s no wonder we face the problems we do.
There are a multitude of implications to this. But just to name a few, women are more apt to be seen as commodities and objects to be used and discarded. Obviously, if a woman ends up pregnant, her partner would not be anxious to fulfill his duties as a father and husband. This financial and relational instability would greatly increase the chances of the woman having an abortion.
Also, the focus on self gratification is completely at odds with the biblical virtue of self sacrifice. When it’s all about us, if something gets in the way of our comfort or plans, we are more apt to remove the problem. No matter the cost.
And of course, the fact that sex is portrayed as just something else to do, like eating (Proverbs 30:20), doesn’t help. Rather than a holy gift to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage between a man and a woman, sex is denigrated to a physical need. An itch to be scratched, and nothing more.
We must make the right choice
So the point is that we don’t have the option of not talking about this cultural, dark phenomenon. Depending on the source, we know that most kids have seen pornography by age 13, many before 11. And although normally this has been more of an issue with boys/men, now many girls/women are struggling with porn addiction as well.
One way to tackle the problem is by reading through this excellent book that I referred to above, Not If, But When. This books offers a healthy way to talk about the reality of pornography to your children. And it gives parents a way to navigate the conversation from a biblical worldview.
There are so many difficult topics we need to have with our children. But I would argue this is a big one. It will help get at the root of so many of the other blights prevalent in our culture.
I know it’s hard. But again, we must face the reality that we are living in Babylon. We must do what we need to, so that we can protect our kids’ hearts and minds. Just as we expect our children to do what’s right instead of what comes easy and feels good, we must do the same.
For a few other resources that address the topic of pornography from a biblical worldview, please check out our books HERE!
