Domestic Extremist by Peachy Keenan was an incredibly intriguing book. The premise of it essentially embraces traditional domesticity, and is therefore extremely countercultural. As I read it, even I winced a little at times. But it had just enough snark and truth bombs to be a solid read for those open to hearing its message.
Fair warning
Just to be completely transparent, there are definitely parts of the book that lean into the slightly inappropriate. However, I would argue reading this as an adult, I personally was NOT offended. Definitely more colorful word choices than I would make, but Keenan gets her point across.
Not just opinions
I love that between Keenan’s frank and choice words (ahem), she throws in quite a few hard statistics. For example, we have all heard about the birth dearth. I think most people don’t think much about it. Many of us are thinking a lot more about the next vacation or the next new car or the next new “whatever.” Is there anything wrong with that? Honestly, no. However, that “no” can slide into the “yes” category when our focus shifts from trusting and obeying the LORD, to trusting and obeying our fleeting desires.
These particular statistics stuck out to me: “A terrifying 2020 study in The Lancet projects that the global number of children under five will fall from 681 million in 2017 to just 401 million by 2100. Meanwhile, the number of people over eighty will increase from 141 million in 2017 to 866 million by 2100” (page 14). I’m not a mathematician (shout out to Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson) but I think those numbers are trending in all the wrong directions.
Not right now
A huge problem is that many women assume they can put off having babies until after they’ve had their amazing careers. There are inherently so many problems to this thinking. First of all, practically speaking there are much slimmer pickings of potential husbands as we get older. And second, our bodies were designed to have babies young. It may not be fair or preferable, but guess what? It doesn’t matter. It is what it is.
To those women who have tried and not found a spouse, obviously the LORD is bigger than our situations and can work in and through them. Just because you’re older doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t be married or ever have children. However the facts still remain true, and it’s just something to consider.
You can have it all? Not exactly
With respect to a mama having a career, many in the prolife movement would argue that you can have it all. You can be a successful woman in the job of your choice, killing it like nobody’s business, and still have a child. So here’s my controversial and probably very unpopular take – that’s just a lie. Yes you can have it all, but not at the same time. Especially with no extended family around to help. Many women work with lots of babies at home. They hire lovely nannies that do the mom thing, while the actual mama is kickin’ butt and taking names out in the work force.
My experience
I can honestly tell you that I tried that. When I was pregnant with our first, I would literally sneer at anyone who would ask if I was planning to stay home. That’s for uneducated women who don’t have the skills to work. Keenan had a similar experience (Chapter 9 – Your Real Job).
I found out quickly that although that psycho baby was a royal pain in my behind, I loved her beyond what I thought possible. I cried like a baby when I had to leave her to go back to work. And I had a great, flexible job! I understand what it’s like to want to stay home, but it not being a possibility. Unfortunately, besides just the questions of staying home, we never got push back about my before-kids conviction to work.
So I worked, and we eventually figured out how to get me home. It took a few years, a lot of cutting of expenses, and moving to another country (that’s another story) but we finally did it. I’m so thankful we did.
It’s a sacrifice but well worth it
To be sure, it’s a sacrifice to stay home but one that is well worth it. Obviously not all mothers can, but if there is any way for mamas to be home for at least that first year, it would be a fruitful time investment that both you and your child(ren) will reap the benefits of.
Chapter 9, “Your Real Job,” discusses jobs and mamas so well. Again, while babies are little (minimally), it’s so important to be home with them. We are often shamed to think otherwise, but especially when our babies are so vulnerable, we need to prioritize them. As Keenan puts it, “Your true happy ending will never come from Human Resources. In the end, it can only come from actual humans,” (page 140).
Rationalizing abortion
Of course, Keenan also discusses abortion and how this is not only wicked but will kill our future existence. We can all understand why some women choose to do this. They’re young, or unmarried, or financially unstable, etc. But it blows my mind when married women with no “issues” choose to have an abortion for essentially no other reason than convenience. The depths of sin and depravity that the feminist movement has pointed us to, seems to be bottomless.
Keenan described a woman who decided to reduce her natural set of triplets down to just one baby. LORD Jesus, help us. Our culture is so obsessed with convenience and comfort that this article raised far too few eyebrows. To be fair, triplets scare the living daylights out of me. We had twins and I still have battle scars. But I wouldn’t change it for the entire world. They are tremendous blessings. How in the world did we get to the place where a woman can openly write about this shameful act of selfishness in the New York Times of all places? With many nodding their heads, empathizing with her.
That my friends, is the epitome of toxic empathy.
A great read
In short, if you want to encourage some feisty 20-something ladies out there to be countercultural, I would highly recommend this book. This puts a lot of weight behind the anti-feminist movement and will help strengthen the convictions of young women we need to pass the baton to.
Mamas, here’s to winning the culture war!
