The holidays are one one of the most confusing times of year. We’re joyful and happy, and then we’re sad and pensive. At least, I am. The older I get, the more I realize how the holidays can be oh so difficult. My heart hurts for those who aren’t here with us anymore. And that makes this time so bitter sweet. I’m thinking I’m probably not the only one.
The bad and ugly
A few years ago, it seemed like a whirlwind of awfulness descended on our family. I miscarried, then was told I had breast cancer, and my father had a horrible accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. It was all so heavy. If I wasn’t worried out of my mind for my dad, I was worried that my kids weren’t going to have a mom for long. At that point, we had 7 children and there weren’t any Fraulein Maria’s around to take my place, singing about the hills being alive with the Sound of Music.
My Dad passed away within a month of the accident. My miscarriage lasted for what seemed like forever – over a month of bleeding. A constant reminder of losing that baby. But thankfully, after a biopsy, no cancer was detected. I still had to have a small surgery that was necessary to triple check, but by the grace of God, I was fine.
Just 2 years ago, my husband lost his mom. This time of year was her absolute favorite. She would go out of her way to make it the best time of year for the entire family. It was pure joy for her to see all of her kids and grandkids ripping presents open. That was what she loved the most, her family gathered all around her. We all miss her so much.
The heavy holidays
My point of sharing all of this is that the holidays can be hard. Whether or not something specifically happened at this time, or it’s a loved one that is now not here, or maybe it’s just life right at this moment. The heaviness is real, even as we sing, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”
I’ve thought lots about this. I’ve been bitter for what the LORD allowed to happen, especially to my dad. Why did he have to suffer so much? How was that fair or OK? I’ve also felt so sad and ambivalent to the joy of the holidays.
A choice
But what I’ve finally landed on is that despite the circumstances and how we feel, we must choose joy. I referred to this passage last week, but I think it can’t be overstated: Rejoice always, pray continuously, give thanks always. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18).
I was just listening to the testimony of a former gang member, Johnny Chang. He was interviewed on the Mighty Pursuit podcast. If you have time, I can’t encourage you enough to listen to it. I don’t think this podcast is in general a Christian podcast, but he speaks to the power of the gospel in an incredibly powerful way. Chang has an insane testimony. But one thing he said that really stuck out to me is that we can’t trust our feelings. One day, we may feel as if this person is awesome. The next, we may hate him/her. But the one thing that does not change ever, is the Word of God.
I think we all know that as Believers, but wow, was it a timely reminder. Our feelings will be up, down, and all around. It’s not that our feelings are bad, but we can not trust or rely on them. Feelings weren’t made to lead and guide us. God’s Word was.
Unchanging Truth
God’s Word is a gift that doesn’t change like shifting shadows (James 1:17). We can have hope despite our feelings and circumstances. Psalm 40:1 – 3 is an awesome reminder:
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.
I don’t know what each person’s story is. But I know that God is good. I hate the sin and pain and suffering that we all go through at one point or another. Life is hard. But we can live lives of faith, trusting with open hands the gifts He decides to give us or take away from us. I’d be the first person to confess I want to hold on to the many gifts He has given me. I literally cry every time my older kids leave. Ugly cry. I can’t keep it together, even though I hate my tendency to cry. But I let them go, through my tears, because I know that I can trust God. He has been faithful all my life. I can continue to trust in His goodness, even when I don’t understand or agree.
If we’re living and breathing today, we have much to have joy for. Minimally we have Jesus, Who came to live on this earth, only to die for our sins. All because He loves us THAT much. So our “minimally” is all we need, really. Everything else is icing on the cake.
We have so many awesome books to remind us of the gift of the birth of Jesus and the Christmas holiday! Check them out HERE! I pray you go into this Advent season reading lots, and being full of the love and hope we have in Christ.
