To whom are our longings and desires pointing us?

So, I was listening to the Becket Cook show on YouTube this past week. He and his guest, Sam Allberry, were talking about our culture’s obsession with sex (so pertinent today!). Towards the end of the interview, Becket brought up the fact that whenever he finds that he is looking at someone inappropriately, he always tries to remind himself how the intimacy that he seeks when he is lusting after another person does not lie with that other person or experience or whatever. The fulfilling intimacy he seeks is with Christ.

I’ve heard him talk about this before, but it really struck a cord with me this time. To be known by someone and loved is what we all want. To have the kind of intimacy where we can be vulnerable and unafraid is a beautiful thing. Obviously marriage between a man and a woman is a picture of that, but it can never replace what our hearts truly long for.

What are we looking for?

All of this made me think about how it’s so crazy how often times women who are abused tend to be attracted to those who abuse. Or sometimes those who seek affirmation tend to seek it out in unhealthy ways. But all of this reflects hearts that are ultimately longing for intimacy, it’s just manifesting in different ways. Here again, that intimacy can’t be satisfied by another person or achievement or experience.

It seems that we are all born with essentially a spiritual hole in our hearts that only God can fill completely. That spiritual hole may look like something in our lives that causes us pain or discomfort. Or sometimes it may be a heaviness that we can’t quite put our finger on why in the world we feel like this today.

Reaching for the best and not settling for what’s easy

As Becket Cook shared, those times may be opportunities for us to turn to God rather than run to something that, at the end of the day, will only hurt us or minimally, not satisfy us. I have to remind myself often that God will work ALL things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. ALL things. That’s a lot of things, right? That includes the hard stuff. Even the stuff that causes us deep pain. Those things that confuse us. ALL of it.

When we come to God with our longings and our unmet desires, He is right there to comfort us. If I can paraphrase C.S. Lewis, we really are like children who insist on playing in the mud even when we’re being offered a weekend at the shore. We want to stay in the mud because it’s easy and familiar, even when we may know it’s not good for us. I love how Becket is so transparent that he has talked about how he’s tried seeking intimacy in all kinds of relationships before. He’s also had all the success in the world. He had all the bobbles and trinkets. But he still had a spiritual ailment. He was still left empty.

Putting first things first

Praise God! Jesus is so good that He calls us from the mud and mess we find ourselves in, and washes us clean. He gives us good things, YES. But all those good things just point us to an even greater thing – Jesus. When we put Him first and allow Him to fulfill our desires, the other life stuff eventually falls into place. But when we elevate the life stuff and dismiss Christ, that’s when we find ourselves playing in the mud again.

We were created for relationship and intimacy with our LORD. So let us worship He Who is worthy and good. When we find ourselves discontent or disappointed in something or someone, I pray that it drives us closer to Him. He will never disappoint us and will always fill us to overflowing.


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  1. markfelix83 2 years ago

    Okay, so I’m embarrassed to admit that often times, I simply “gloss over” these posts. For some reason, I felt led to read this post word for word, and not just once. Very transformative article. I appreciate Beckett Cook’s honesty and Michelle’s insight.

    Whether or not we want to admit it, we are all seeking and searching for something – love, money, fame, approval – and the list goes on. But at the end of day, the only true and pure acceptance and fulfillment we will ever truly have is from our relationship with Christ Jesus.

    • Author
      Michelle Lazor 2 years ago

      Amen!! Thank you for commenting Mark! (:=

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